Dead Man Walking
by MrsBoreanaz1
Summary: what happens when The Doctor meets Booth and Brennan...after waking up on the autopsy table of course! 11/Brennan, Seeley Booth/River Song implied
1. Prologue

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_**Disclaimer:** I unfortuantly do not posses the required intellect to claim ownership of Doctor Who or Bones, this is merely a piece of Fanfiction from a fan of both!_

_**thanks:** to IC-KakaNaruKaka-Luvr for Beta read once again Dii Dii, you're the Song to my River XD _

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**Prologue **

Seely Booth leaned back on his chair, propping his feet on his oak wood desk. Papers scattered onto the floor but Booth ignored the, as he took a sip of coffee from the Styrofoam cup in his hand.

Finally an open and shut case, he thought with a satisfied sigh. Almost two hours ago he had been called to a quiet suburban neighbourhood to discover a grizzly scene.

If he had to guess, judging by the look of the woman's face, blood splattered on her clothes, mattered in her blonde hair, well, he'd say it was a domestic issue. The usual, husband's a workaholic; wife assumes he's cheating, chaos ensues.

She'd admitted to the murder straight up, got up as soon as she'd seen him and walked over, holding out her hands so he could cuff her. Her words were a bit dramatic in his opinion,

"I've killed the best man I'll ever know"

Made it sound like the poor guy was God or something. Anyway, all that was left to do was to fill in the paperwork and go home to Hannah.

His phone began to ring, loudly. Booth cursed as he burned his tongue and slammed his cup on the picking up the phone in his other hand and pressing it to his ear.

"Booth" he answered briskly,

"It's me" a female voice replied, "Cam" she added, when he didn't answer she went on, "Seely, we need you down here."

Hearing the panic in her voice Booth interrupted, "Whoa, Cam, slow down, what's happening?"

"it's the body that was brought in this morning,it's-Seely, he's come back to life"

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_ I will be updating when i can XD_

_ all coments are welcome _


	2. Chapter one

**Thanks: **_to_ _IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr __for Beta read, the Song to my River XD _

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**Chapter one:**

Temperance Brennan watched in a mixture of horrified disbelief and vague interest as the body on the autopsy table rose steadily, the sheet falling limply to cover the man's torso.

"Hello Sweetie." The eleventh incarnation of the Doctor smiled at her in a friendly sort of way before turning to observe himself,

"Let's see. Legs? Yes, still got them. Arms? Fez? Where's my Fez?" He asked as he reached up to touch his hair, realising that the small red hat he wore was missing.

Trembling, Brennan's assistant, Daisy, reached over to the nearest tray and picked up the object in question.

"I-it didn't make it," she said in a weak attempt to joke, pointing to a bullet-shaped hole in the material.

The Doctor's look of joy faded.

"River!" He growled.

"You mean water, presumably, because you find yourself dehydrated and therefore need to restore your fluids," Brennan corrected in a matter-of-fact kind of tone.

The Doctor merely nodded as he stretched his arms and leapt off the autopsy table, holding the sheet around the lower half of his body.

"No. I need you to lie back down on the table to examine your skeletal structure and determine the cause of your death," Brennan continued, holding her arms out in an effort to prevent the Doctor from leaving.

"But I'm not dead," the Doctor protested, gesturing to himself.

"Yes, you are," Brennan persisted. "Upon your arrival at the Jeffersonian, I checked your pulse; you had no heartbeat, and I'm never wrong!" she added smugly.

The Doctor smiled at her in mild amusement.

"Which heart did you check?" He asked simply and Brennan frowned.

"Are you referring metaphorically to your heart in an emotional sense? In which case, I checked for your physical heart."

"No," the Doctor replied, much to her frustration.

Carefully, he took her hand in his and pressed it first to the left side of his chest, and then the right.

That was when Booth unfortunately decided to make an entrance.

"Whoa there dead boy! Get back on the table," he muttered, running up the stairs and succeeding in separating Brennan from the Doctor.

"Booth," Brennan began, trying to explain her discovery and acknowledging her partner in one.

Booth merely brushed her off.

"It's OK Bones, I've got it under control. You!" He rounded on the Doctor, waving his badge in the Time Lord's face. "FBI. Bones here needs you to get back on that table and go back to being dead. Think you can do that?"

"Booth, he has two hearts!" Brennan interrupted.

"What?" Booth asked in surprise, dropping his badge as he turned around.

"His body is equipped with two hearts; the one on the left is currently beating more faintly than the one on his right, indicating a recent loss of blood."

There was a long awkward silence, interrupted by the voice of Angela Montenegro.

"So, I ran facial recognition on the dead guy and guess what?"

"Oh, you wont find anything. Sorry," the Doctor called out to her.

Angela looked up from her brand new iPad and caught sight of the scene; Booth standing in between Brennan and a strange half-naked man. Her face broke into a smile.

The Doctor took a step towards her, the sheet sliding off his body and onto the floor.

"Ugh! Put it away!" Booth groaned, turning away as the Doctor introduced himself.

"Hi. I'm the Doctor." With that, he reached over and prized the Fez out of Daisy's hands, propping it on his head and grinning.

There was a bang and the Fez flew off his head.

Booth, Brennan and the Doctor turned to the doorway to see a woman in a skin-tight outfit, a pair of faux fur cat ears peeping out from under her mass of blonde curls.

"Hello Sweetie!" The woman grinned at the Doctor, a gun aimed at his chest.

"River!" the Doctor replied enthusiastically before his smile faded, as if he had just remembered something.

"You tried to kill me!"

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_Ohhh! River dressed as Catwoman! XD_

_Not sure why. There will be a reason, but!_


	3. Chapter two

**Thanks to: **_IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr for beta reading!_

_**P.S.: Like always, I find myself apologising for the **_**obscene**_** amount of flirting that will inevitably take place. XD **_

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**Chapter two:**

Booth leapt into action, pulling his gun out of its holster. He took aim at River's chest.

"Drop the gun, Cat-woman!"

"Cat-woman? That's all you've got?" Angela asked in an unimpressed sort of way.

Booth ignored her and gestured with his gun for River to lower hers. She obeyed, laying her gun on the floor and kicking it away from her for good measure and raising her arms.

Booth ran down the steps towards her, replacing his gun and extracting a pair of handcuffs. River smiled seductively at the sight of them and the Doctor gave a cry of frustration.

"That's a bad idea, detective. That's extremely not good."

"Yeah, well, I'm the one with the badge, so don't tell me how to do my job, OK?" Booth hissed back angrily, handcuffing River.

"You try to help a person and this is the thanks you get!" he grumbled to no one in particular.

"Well, I'm extremely grateful officer," River simpered, raising one eyebrow.

"Oh no you're not!" The Doctor interrupted, picking up the sheet to cover himself with and running down the steps towards Booth and River.

Booth glanced from the Doctor, to River and back again before turning to Brennan.

"See! It's _got_ to be a domestic issue."

"Oh! We're not married," the Doctor corrected.

"Right River? River?" He asked more franticly as the blonde woman replied only with a teasing smile.

"Spoilers!"

Booth shook his head and asked, "Who are you? Both of you? And why have you got two hearts?"

"Do you possess two hearts as well?" Brennan added, nodding to River curiously. Before she could answer Booth held up a hand.

"Yeah. Time for cosy chit-chat later. What I wanna know is, why'd you decide to shoot lover boy over there?"

"Ah! He's attempting to find a motive, but he doesn't expect you to tell him straight-out, he will most likely have to take you down to interrogation -"

"Thanks Bones. I'll take it from here," Booth cut across her irately.

"I didn't shoot him." River's response had everyone confused.

"But you confessed! I have it in writing. Don't think you can change your story now!"

"I didn't shoot him!" River persisted, turning to face the Doctor. For the first time since the library, he saw her eyes widen in a mixture of fear and deep affection.

"It wasn't her," he said finally.

"At least, yes, physically it was her, but not mentally because her mind wasn't her mind - yes… Of course, that's it!" He cried, letting go of the sheet for the second time.

Booth shielded his eyes as he replied, "Not you too; why do you wanna cover for her? She tried to kill you!"

Suddenly, Brennan turned to face her partner, scrutinising him as if he were a dead body on the autopsy table.

"Booth, how did you know that the body had woken up?"

Booth frowned as he turned to her.

"What do you mean, 'how'? Cam rang me and said -"

But Brennan interrupted, "Cam is not here today: she is driving Michelle to a concert."

The room was absolutely silent for a second before the Doctor said in a low voice, "We need to get out of here. Now."

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_*Dramatic music*_

_Will update soon!_

_All comments welcome!_

_XD and now for my beta-reader's comments~ _

_**IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr's **_**comments:**_It's partially 'cause I don't wanna go to the review button after I read this… On second thought: If I've already read this while beta-ing it, why would I need to review it? DUH! EPITHANY MOMENT! XD_

_ANYWAYS… Ohhh! You didn't tell me the plotline, I just realized! *GASP!* XD Nahh… It's good in it's own way that you didn't tell me; you surprised me LOADS!_

_HEY! You readers! Review! … And.. Er… (Check out my stories too, please?) …Can you say, "Desperate!"? XD_

_No, seriously: REVIEW!_


	4. Chapter three

_**Thanks**__ to IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr for beta-reading. Or, as I call her: The Song to my River. XD _

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**Chapter three:**

At the Doctor's advice, Angela and Daisy had already left the Jeffersonian to their own houses. Well, in Daisy's case, to Sweets' office.

Now Brennan, the Doctor and River were crammed into Booth's Toyota Kluger, cruising down the highway.

In the backseat, Brennan and the Doctor were discussing the origins of the universe at high speed, the words seeming to blur together the more Booth tried to make sense of them.

He turned to glance uneasily at River, who winked back. Booth rolled his eyes and turned back to resume a deadpan stare at the road ahead.

"So, Cat-woman here -"

"River," River corrected.

"FINE. _River _here didn't kill you, that's what you're saying dead boy?" Booth asked the Doctor.

"The human brain is a fascinating thing..." The Doctor suddenly put in, as if in reply.

"Yes. Did you know, human's only use a small percentage of their brain…?" Brennan began to add before Booth interjected.

"Look, will somebody just explain - _You_!" He cried, turning to the passenger seat where River was comfortably seated.

"So you're prepared to trust a convicted criminal over two geniuses, huh?" She smirked back.

"Look. I just want a straight answer!" Booth cried in exasperation, hitting the steering wheel to illustrate his point.

"Well..." River paused before going on. "It's sort of hard to explain; one minute I was there in the lounge room and the next, I was watching everything as if it were a sort of movie."

"You mean like backseat driving!" Booth corrected her, jerking a thumb to the back seat where Brennan and the Doctor were now reminding him of the "correct" driving procedure.

"Yes, exactly like that!" River laughed, gazing behind her at the Doctor fondly.

Her "Sweetie" was now conversing with Brennan over something called the "God" particle.

"Well, actually, "God" is the wrong name. The word "God" refers to a mythological figure, upon which many religions have built values such as hope or faith," Brennan said dismissively.

The Doctor nodded as he replied, "Ah, but hope and faith is what makes human's who they are. Don't you ever hope for something Temperance?"

"NO!" Brennan answered bluntly before she went on more kindly. "I am a scientist Doctor; I am not required to_ hope._"

"But you could, if you chose to," The Doctor replied simply as he turned to gaze outside the window.

"Temperance," He called out suddenly, his eyes growing wide.

"Yes, Doctor?" Brennan asked curiously as Booth and River turned to glance at the backseat.

"I think now would be a good time to start hoping."

"What should I hope for?" Brennan found herself asking despite her earlier comment.

"Hope we make it out alive!" The Doctor yelled, just as a silvery blue bolt of electricity, a laser, struck the roof of Booth's beloved car.

Booth attempted to slam on the brakes, the car screeching along the highway before swerving off the lane and flipping over onto its side. The car rolled once, twice, three times, before smashing the barrier at the edge of the road and tumbling down to land in the vegetation below.

Inside the car it was quiet. _**Deathly quiet.**_

_

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__Ohooo! Dramatic ending! XD_

_I will update soon!_

_All comments welcome!_

_**IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr's**_** comments:**_Woot! Way to go girl! … I. Did. NOT. Just. Say. THAT!_

_ANYWAYS… YOU BIG MEANIE! You left a cliff-hanger! But.. I didn't have to do much beta-ing THIS time… So, YAY!_

_Readers. Please. I encourage you all to leave reviews!_

_And girl? I think you got that "Song to my River" thingy wrong… I don't know… HEY! I know! Can you reviewers also add to your comments whether the "Song to my River" thingy is right? (As in: She's River, and I'm Song. And together, we make: River Song!)_


	5. Chapter four

**Thanks to**:_**IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr **_for beta-reading! (The Song to my River! XD)

Again, going to apologise for the flirting in this chapter…!

_Also, I really want to be River at the __**end **__of this scene...you'll see why! XD_

_Enjoy!_

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**Chapter four:**

All that that remained of the windscreen was the shards, scattered in the interior. The quiet drip-drip of petrol could be heard as the liquid spilled onto the vegetation outside_._

Inside the car, the Doctor sat up, clutching sheet around him like a toga with one hand. The other was stemming the flow of blood from a cut that stretched across his forehead.

"That's the second time someone tried to kill me today" He cried in frustration.

"Doctor, people try to kill you all the time!" River groaned from the front seat as she reached down to pull out a large shard of glass from her abdomen. She cried out in pain as the glass dislodged itself from her body.

"River, are you alright?" The Doctor asked as he reached forward to rest a hand on her shoulder.

Angrily, she brushed his hand away and unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Oh, I'm just fine, dear. Except for the fact that someone wants me DEAD!" she shouted sarcastically, throwing her arms up in frustration.

"Well, focusing on the positives, they haven't succeeded yet!" The Doctor replied in a reasonable tone, contradicting his earlier opinion as he did so.

He gestured to the gaping hole in the floor of the car which exposed the heavy shrubbery below.

"They missed."

Rolling her eyes, River averted her gaze to the driver's seat where Booth lay, slumped over the steering wheel. She almost smirked as his face slipped an inch further and set off the car horn, then she realised that he could be dead.

"Doctor. What about your friend, is she alright?" River cried, referring to Brennan as she moved across towards the driver's seat and held Booth's face up.

The Doctor, meanwhile, turned to Brennan who was in fact wide awake, her legs crouched up in front of her on the seat and face tucked down so that she resembled a human turtle.

"Temperance... What are you doing?" The Doctor asked in a mild yet slightly amused tone.

"I have adopted a position which will minimise the impact that the accident will have upon me," Brennan replied, her voice a little muffled.

"Right," the Doctor nodded, the smile not leaving his face as he turned back to the front.

"Well, it's safe to get up now!" His smile suddenly faded as he watched River stretch out her right leg and smash the driver's seat window.

Instinctively, the Doctor shielded Brennan as the glass began to fall on them. He winced as the shards cut into his flesh, the sheet providing little protection.

"River…"he growled once more after the shards had stopped flying.

"The door's jammed!" River called back apologetically. As she tilted Booth's face this way and that to inspect the damage, a trail of blood trickled down his cheek.

By this moment, Brennan chose to look up and observe the scene in front of her.

"BOOTH!" she cried, tugging off her seatbelt and rushing forwards, only to be hauled back into her seat by he Doctor.

"Temperance," he began but she was beyond listening.

"No, I need to examine him. I'm the only one qualified enough to-"

"Temperance. Listen to me. You're not thinking straight; first, we need to find somewhere safe. Then we can check if he's alright. But I promise you," here he paused and put his arms around her protectively before he went on, "I promise you Temperance, it's going to be alright."

There was moment of silence between them, neither noticing the blond woman in the front seat narrow her eyes as she observed the scene before the spell was broken and Brennan pushed the Doctor away. That definitive spark leaving her eyes only to be replaced by her usual calculating stare.

"You can't know that," she said simply as she turned away from him and immediately began to advise River on the best way to move Booth.

The Doctor's gaze remained on her for several seconds before he blinked and turned to the front once more.

"Right. River, we're going to all go out through that window now because I smell petrol and the last station was a quarter of a mile back there, so that's not a good thing!"

If River Song heard his words, she didn't give them any recognition. Nevertheless, she did as he suggested and began to push Booth out of the window, head first, much to Brennan's horror.

"No, that's not the correct procedure-" She began before there was a loud thud as Booth's body hit the floor.

Brennan and the Doctor winced. River, however, slid over onto the driver's seat and expertly vaulted herself out of the window (That skin tight suit coming in handy at least!) What she failed to achieve expertly was her landing; she fell straight on top of Booth who grunted in pain and slowly opened his eyes.

River winced as Booth coughed and spluttered, blonde curls cascading down onto his face to obscure his mouth.

"Hi…"he croaked, giving her a small wave before his eyes closed once more and his head hit the ground again.

Inside the car, there came the sound of uncontrollable laughter. River turned around to see the Doctor, his face pressed against the glass, pointing at her with one hand while laughing hysterically. Beside him, Brennan's face was in complete contrast, a look of horror printed all over her face.

"That's not funny: she could easily of broken several of his ribs..." She began before River cut across her, "Oh, there are many ways I could do that..." she trailed off, winking in the Doctor's direction.

He gulped as Brennan turned to face him, waiting for an explanation.

"She doesn't mean... me!" He said hastily.

"Of course not!" River replied irritably.

"I prefer a man in uniform!" And with that, she gestured to Booth.

There was complete silence before the Doctor suggested, "I think the fumes are getting to everyone. Let's go!"

_

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__Ohhh! Jealous River! I always wondered what River would do if she saw the Doctor with someone else? I think the River in __"Silence in the Library"__would care because she cares for him heaps. But I also think a younger River would get pretty pissed, so I've opted for a young River Song, about mid-20's... XD_

**Please. Please! Review so I know whether to keep writing or not! XD**

Beta's Notes (IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr): Your's is supposed to be "The Song to my River!" Mine is "The River to my Song!" (Because I'm Song and you're River! ^^)

I swear it's the same length! (Except you have 100 more or so… XD)

Gods I feel SO SICK right now! Readers, review so she'll post more updates and so I can get better (somehow)!

If she doesn't update this before, I'm gonna go ahead and say, "Happy Easter!" to all of you! ^^


	6. Chapter five

_ok guys, so sorry for neglecting this fic but I'm back and I do intend to finish it! :) _

_sorry if there's mistakes in this chapter as my lovely beta reader was unavailable :(_

_ but the lengthiness of this chap. should make up for it. _

_enjoy :)_

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**Chapter five:**

The Doctor was not one for hard labour. In fact, he had never heard the word used in that context before, "l_abour, River, is a process of giving birth, something only the females of a species, or male seahorses, are acquainted with"_ As a result, lugging Booth's unconscious frame up a hill, was no easy feat.

With Brennan to guide them, River was left holding onto the Detective's upper body while the Doctor rather enthusiastically grabbed Booth's legs, swinging them from left to right.

If Brennan noticed him doing this, she didn't object, her attention was directed solely at the menacing hill in front of her, it was her task to clear the way for the other two.

She did this quietly, without glancing at either of her new acquaintances, but several times, River noticed she would glance anxiously at Booth to see how he was faring.

Evidently bored by the lack of conversation, The Doctor began what was to be an extremely long, nonsensical monologue.

"This would be much easier if we had landed in say the mid-21st century. Japan has perfected its wearable Agri Robot by then. That's an exoskeleton suit which reduces the load you are carrying by at least 20 kilos. They start exporting worldwide in oh, around 2049. Any excuse to dabble in robotics ay?"

He paused before going on "Of course you already have virtual supermarkets and flexible paper"

"I'm quite flexible" River said in a low voice, winking at him.

The Doctor gulped, swinging Booth's legs more erratically then before as he went on,

"But-But you have such fascinating inventions, the butter stick? Apply butter to your toast as if you were using a glue stick! Alarm Fork? No one will dare steal your cutlery again! To the Japanese this is a real art you know; they call it _Chindogu _the art of un-useless ideas, neither useful nor un-useful, in..."

He was about to go on before Brennan interrupted "Doctor, is there an actual point to this?"She asked, neither discouraging nor amused.

"Well, I expect so Temperance, but I can't be sure until I've finished talking."The Doctor replied in all honesty, rocking on the balls of his feet.

"Can you get on with it then?" Temperance snapped.

"Yes. Of course. Stupid me now I've forgot what I was up to. Oh well, better start from the beginning." The Doctor nodded enthusiastically while River let out a groan of frustration.

"I think not sweetie." She hissed sarcastically. "There's already been 2 attempts on your life away, lets not make it a third"

"But River I was getting to the good bit! At least, i think i was..." The Doctor whined.

River stood resolute and The Doctor was forced to admit defeat, huffing angrily and turning his back to her, somehow switching the unconscious FBI agent's feet between his hands as he did so.

"From which Institution did he get his degree?" Brennan hissed to River after a moment or two.

"Oh please" she replied sarcastically, "I doubt he passed preschool!"

Both women laughed at that remark and surprisingly, River found herself enjoying the other woman's company.

_Maybe she wasn't so bad after all. _

"You and Agent Booth, you're not..." River began innocently before Brennan interrupted,

"Seely and I are not romantically linked, if that was what you were asking" She said in all seriousness as if they were discussing an autopsy report.

River laughed.

"What's so funny?" Brennan asked curiously.

"You" River replied.

Seeing how taken back the other woman was she decided to explain,

"He way you answer people, it's so straightforward, the sentences you use, they're all structured according to importance, you only say what's necessary"

"And you find it humorous?" Temperance pressed on

"No I find it..Refreshing"

"You and the Doctor are likewise _refreshing_" Temperance smiled back

"Refreshing indicates the act of refreshing oneself." the Doctor interjected, he was ignored of course.

"Your relationship is more complex then Booth first inferred. I'm not a detective but I am a scientist and as one I can recognise changes in the body. SEE RIGHT THERE!" Brennan pointed suddenly at River's face.

"The colouring in your face at the sound of his name indicates a rise in blood pressure is triggered by intense emotion"

The colouring in River's cheeks became a more pronounced shade of red at that.

"Don't know what you mean Dr. Brennan" River mumbled, turning away from Temperance to instead look at the smoking wreckage at the bottom of the hill.

Despite the odd angle the Doctor craned his neck in her direction while Brennan looked from left to right.

"That could indicate affection rather then a romantic or sexual attraction" She added, making the Doctor choke.

When know one replied Brennan changed the subject. "I will examine Booth to determine his present health" Before awkwardly bending down in front of her partners body to observe his face, "this is an extremely uncomfortable way to examine someone" She muttered under breath.

"uh Temperance" The Doctor began

"not now Doctor" Brennan said in an annoyed tone, taking Booth's pulse

"You might want to..." The Doctor began before she cut across him,

"I am conducting an important pro.."

BANG!

Brennan's legs, walking backwards of there own accord reached the top of the hill and onto the side of the road.

The shock of flat ground made her knees buckle, sending her toppling onto Booth's unconscious form, dragging River and The Doctor down to the ground with the added weight.

River was forced to let go of Booth's right shoulder and through an arm on the grass behind her to stop herself from falling back down the hill while The Doctor lost his grip on the agent's legs and began a sort of wild dance to reclaim them.

In between him and River, Temperance had her arms over Booth's torso, palms flat on the ground to prevent him from rolling away.

All three looked up from what they were doing to glance at the others and for a split second there was complete silence before they burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"There is someone trying to murder us and we're here laughing!" Brennan cried, still chuckling.

"Well, I guess that's how we _roll"_ River replied and the three of them laughed even louder.

"We're _rolling _in the deep" Brennan added, tears streaming down her face.

River fell backwards, snorting with laughter.

"I guess we're the Rolling stones" The Doctor put in, rather enthusiastically.

He was met with a moment of silence before River coughed awkwardly from her place on the ground and Temperance replied, "I didn't actually see the humour there"

She turned to River who shook her head, "a bit too far dear"

And with that. Both women began to stand up, leaving the men on the ground as they dusted themselves off.

"But-But, it's, we're like, the band, the Rolling Stones.." The Doctor protested "It's funny!"

"it's even less funny when you have to explain it sweetie" River shrugged as Brennan began to advise her on an easier way to carry Booth.

"If we can just get onto the road and perhaps ask a passing driver.." Brennan continued,

"Or steal a car" River muttered back.

Both of them completely ignored the Doctor on the ground, who was looking up at them like a lost puppy, his make shift toga falling off his arm.

"But it was funny!" he whined.

"Ok, Ms Song..."

"Dr. Song" River corrected with a smile.

Brennan stared at her curiously "In what field?"

"Archaeology"

Brennan responded with a smile, "I'm an anthropologist"

"Well then Dr. Brennan, I think we'll be great friends!"

"Actually, career choice does not automatically determine social-"Brennan began to say before she stopped herself and instead replied softly, "Yes, I think we will be"

And, acting as if the Doctor were not with them, proceeded to carry Booth's body up the hill by themselves.

The Doctor, extremely irritated, sat where he was on the ground, crossing his arms and fuming.

"I'm the Doctor, _the oncoming storm_, abandoned on the side of a hill in a toga, without my Fez, bowtie _and_ the sonic! Well that just spells _destroyer of worlds_ now doesn't it?" He asked out loud.

Of course no one answered him and, sighing, he was forced to clamber to his feet and stumble after the two women who had by now reached the top of the hill.

He could clearly see Brennan, holding out and arm to passing cars, and barely suppressed a smirk when the car drove on by without stopping.

"I think we should try my way Temperance" River suggested  
"Sweetie" she cried suddenly, turning around to see where the Doctor had got to.

"Ah, remembered me have you?" He replied snidely

Rolling her eyes the blonde woman went on,

"I need you to reach into my back pocket"

The Doctor grinned at the thought of being needed and, swinging the train of his toga over his shoulder he triumphantly strutted over to stand behind River.

That, was where your-your..." He begun, flustered before she cut across him,

"Where my ass is, yes I know sweetie, now just shut up and get it over with!"

Brennan watched on in mild amusement.

"Sweetie" River hissed "If you don't do it you'll be stuck on this road for a very long time"

"Well that doesn't sound so bad"

"WITH ME!" River concluded.

The Doctor took a second to consider his options before he slowly reached down into River's back pocket.

"There's some sort of round object" He said after a second or two of searching.

"Yes that's it" River replied.

Unfortunately it was at that precise moment when a black jeep decided to drive by. Upon seeing the Doctor in such a compromising position, with River's back to him, the driver stuck her head out of the window

"Pervert!"She yelled before driving off.

"Well!" the Doctor exclaimed sarcastically after she had left, "This has been a lovely day hasn't it? Someone tries to kill me twice, I lug a full grown man up a hill, am totally ignored by the two of you and then I am insulted by a complete stranger!"

"Doctor?" Brennan asked, struggling to keep the smile off her face.

"what?" the Doctor snapped angrily.

"Your hand is still in Dr. Song's pocket"

Yelping as if he had burned himself the Doctor tore his hand away, the round object still clasped in his hand.

"Open it!" River encouraged, indicating to the thing in his hand.

The Doctor unclenched his hand and stared at the smooth metal casing for a second before he flicked the small clasp on the edge closest to him.

The object opened at once.

"It's a mirror?" The Doctor cried in disappointment. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

".idiot." River spat through gritted teeth.

"What?"

"Dr. Brennan" River cried in frustration, appealing to the other woman.

Temperance herself looked confused for a few second before she realised what River meant.

"If you position the mirror in the correct way as the next car rounds that corner you could momentarily blind the driver, their reflexes _should _kick in, forcing them to stop the car." She explained with a nod in River's direction.

"Should?" the Doctor asked, raising an eyebrow"

"Well, there's always the chance that the driver will not have time to press the brakes, resulting possibly in the death of him or her, or even ourselves." Brennan finished with a shrug.

"Oh for heavens sake!" River began "we can't stand around here worrying about consequences!"

And before anyone could stop her she whipped her head around and, using her teeth, snatched the mirror from the Doctor's hands.

Both her fellow Doctors began to protest,

"River you can't do things like this!"

"Dr Song you are endangering someone else's life..."

But it was all in vain for an old Volkswagen Beetle had already turned the corner. River began franticly waving the mirror to and fro, ignoring the other two.

She knew she had succeeded when the Beetle began to shudder and sway across the road, as erratic as the Doctor's dancing. Finally it came to a screeching halt about 4 meters away, leaving tyre tracks behind it.

"I dih ih!" River exclaimed happily.

"Sorry I don't understand and I should, I speak over 90,000 languages you know" The Doctor said smugly to Brennan.

"But there are only around 6700 languages existing in the world" Brennan replied, confused. As River through the mirror onto the ground and repeated what she had said,

"I did it!"

"Yes, well, come on then!" The Doctor growled, leading the way, "let's hope it's not some daft old lady on the way to the supermarket to buy something boring, like milk and bread or..."

The Doctor froze as he reached the window of the car and bent down to look at the driver.

"What is it?" Brennan asked, sharing an uneasy glance with River.

The Doctor looked over at them, his whole body stiff for a second before he relaxed.

"Sorry, what is what?" He asked mildly, turning back to the car where he jumped and pulled away from the window.

A thought dawned on River and she felt her stomach sink. ".NO!" she cried and, carrying Booth's body she attempted to run towards the car, forcing a bewildered Brennan to follow with booth's feet.

As she reached the car River all but pushed the Doctor aside to gaze inside the car at the driver. River swallowed, hard.

Catching sight of what she saw Brennan murmured thoroughly confused, "well, I can definitely confirm that that is _not _an old lady out doing some shopping!"

* * *

_*dramatic music* _

_Who could the driver be?_

_oks people, **please please review** It wont take you that long :) _

_P.S I promise Booth will wake up soon!_


	7. Chapter six

_sorry for the late update guys but i am commited to finishing this fic :) anyways, hope you enjoy this cahpter. _

* * *

**Chapter six**

"What's a cyberman doing in the middle of no where, behind the wheel of a car?" The Doctor asked aloud, scratching his head as he looked around for an answer.

"This is more then armor, it's some sort of exoskeleton, protecting something on the inside. What did you say it's called, a cyberman?" Brennan asked, turning her head this way and that to observe the figure slumped behind of the wheel of the car.

Supporting Booth's head with one hand she attempted to put her free hand through the open car window in order to touch the Cyberman's seemingly unconscious form.

"Don't" the Doctor yelled, pushing her hand out of the way before she could, his eyes fierce.

"Doctor, whatever this thing is, it needs our help!" Temperance protested, gesturing to the figure in the car.

"No it really doesn't" River corrected her turning to the Doctor, "When you couldn't remember what you'd seen I feared the worse. I-I thought it was the silence" she whispered before she went on in a louder, more indifferent tone, "But, I guess this is bad enough anyway" she finished, gesturing to the Cyberman.

"The thing is," The Doctor began in a puzzled tone, "The armor would have shielded it when the car crashed,"

"It doesn't look damaged, just knocked out" River shrugged but the Doctor shook his head,

"But why would the crash have rendered it unconscious in the first place?"

Both of them turned as one to look at the car window, an identical frown on both of their foreheads.

"So what you seem to be implying Doctor, is that this thing is not human?" Brennan asked in loud voice, trying to get the Doctor's attention,

"What?" the Doctor asked in a dazed tone, turning away to look at her. "Yes, of course it's not human Temperance, look at it, human technology is…" He began to say but she finished his sentence for him,

"Far less advanced then this" She nodded to the Cyberman, "I posses rather high intellect Doctor, I can keep up" She added with a smile.

The Doctor smiled back warmly, "yes, of course you can"

From somewhere below them they heard a loud groan and, along with River, they looked down in time to see Booth's eyes slowly flutter open.

It took the agent a few seconds to become aware of his surroundings before he realized he was being carried by two women.

"Ok" He muttered, hurriedly clambering up so that he could stand on his own two feet.

Naturally he stumbled and lost his balance, swaying as he fell,

"Booth" Brennan cried, holding out her arms to catch him in time.

"oof" Booth groaned as he landed in her arms.

"Booth you're disorientated, you're sense of direction is warped and.." Brennan began to say only to be cut off by Booth waving his hand lamely in her face,

"Bones I'm fine" He muttered, attempting once again to clamber to his feet.

This time, much to everyone's surprise, he managed to stand though he leaned heavily on Temperance.

"Right" Booth said as soon as he was standing, "What's been happening?"

In answer River and The Doctor moved apart to show him the car behind them.

Booth groaned, "Please don't tell me you hijacked a car" He turned to face River who replied in a defensive tone, "We had no choice"

Booth raised an eyebrow skeptically,

"Well, actually…" Brennan and The Doctor began at the same time.

"Bones, I really don't wanna have to arrest you" Booth cried in slight annoyance,

"Then don't" Temperance said matter-of-factly.

There was a moment of silence where they both faced eachother, glaring silently before Booth gave up and sighed in defeat,  
"seriously though, a beetle? Out of all the cars to come down here you snag Herbie?" He asked in disbelief, kicking the front tire of the car lamely.

"Our options were low ok?" River snapped back, irritated.

Booth shook his head as he leaned down to catch his own glimpse of the driver,

"You better hope the driver is o-k, what the hell is that?" He asked upon seeing the cyberman slumped behind the wheel of the car (if Cybermen could slump that is)

"It's a Cyberman" Brennan explained with a smug smile.

"And that's anthropology talk for what exactly?" Booth asked, frowning at her.

"Well, I, I don't actually know what it means" Brennan faltered, looking to the Doctor for help.

"That's a first" Booth muttered under breath.

"All you need to know is, it's hostile, so we needa kill it" River explained for him.

"NO!" The Doctor hissed, looking at her disbelievingly, "we're not killing anything, something is clearly wrong with it. We should help it!"

The last word rang clearly in everyone's ears. And for two of them, it was not a good thing.

"If you were in its place it wouldn't hesitate to kill you!" River argued, crossing her arms and leaning against the car.

Booth meanwhile reached into his holster and extracted his gun, holding it out in front of him.

"Doctor that thing doesn't look to friendly and I'm not gonna take any chances with three civilians in the area" He said, his voice hard as he pointed with his gun at the Cyberman in the window.

"We're not gonna kill it, but to be sure we should at least detain it" He hissed.

"Booth you're not thinking straight," Brennan began, but however that sentence ended was drowned out by the sound of aloud groan coming form within the Volkswagen.

"Was that…" Brennan trailed off, pointing to the car

"No" The Doctor replied, trying to laugh it off just as River said, "It couldn't be"

Nethertheless they both turned as one to look at the interior of the car.

Behind them Booth raised his gun, pushing Brennan behind him as he did so.

"Cybermen don't groan" River hissed, peering into the window with the Doctor.

"They do now" The Doctor muttered back, equally as shocked as he indicated to the driver's seat.

The Cyberman inside had risen off the steering wheel, its metallic arms gripped tightly around the wheel.

"I-am-not-a-Cyberman" It said, turning to face the duo who flinched simultaneously. "I-am-a-human"

"Did it just say…" River trailed off, a look of pure shock etched on her features.

"That is definitely not normal" The Doctor whispered.

The Cyberman continued to stare at them, oblivious to their astonishment,

"My-name-is-Bette, what-is-yours?" It asked in its robotic voice.

"Doctor" River began slowly, "what the hell is going on?"

* * *

_Cybermen, acting like humans...__I'm having to much fun writing this :)_

_Please** review** guys, I really wanna know your thoughts about this and any theories you may have on what's going on here, _

_I had heaps of fun planning this out :) _


	8. Chapter seven

_Hey guys! I bet you're all surprised I updated lol! Im surprised as well! anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

The cyber man continued to insist for half an hour that it was in fact an 80 year old pensioner named Bette Davis, much to the Doctor's displeasure.

Their discussion quickly escalated into nothing short then a full scale war until Booth threw up his arms between the Doctor and the car window and yelled, "Shut up,"

The Doctor opened his mouth to protest only to have Booth say loudly over the top of him, "I said stop it!"

River sniggered as the Doctor grudgingly admitted defeat. "The oncoming storm, silenced by a human, oh, if the rest of the universe could see you now sweetie" she laughed, leaning on the car once more.

She gave a start as the cyberman inside said, "would-you-mind-not-touching-my-car-I-just-got-it-washed" in a tone that could almost be mistaken for haughtiness.

Speechless River spun around and stared unblinkingly at the driver, this only served to aggregate the cyberman more, "And-don't-stare-dear-it's-impolite. Honestly-kids-these-days"

"Ok _Nana _she didn't know any better!" Booth called out, reaching into his pocket to pull out his badge in order to flash it in front of the car window, "can you, I mean, you can see that right?" uncertain he turned to the Doctor, "she-it, it can see yeah?"

"It's an advanced life from out of space, no of course they lack basic features like eyesight!" He retorted, crossing his arms and huffing.

Booth looked at him for a few seconds before turning to River for help, "He's being sarcastic right?'

She nodded, "It wasn't obvious?"

"Not when it's _him"_ Booth replied, grinning briefly before he turned back to the cyberman,

"OK, Ms _Davis _was it? I need you to step out of the car for me" He spun round to the other three for a second and sighed, "I'm gonna let you know that this has to be the weirdest thing I have ever done"

"What, you've never arrested a robot before?' River asked in an amused tone.

Booth laughed sarcastically and turned back to the cyberman, "I need to you to step out of the car now, nice and slowly, can you do that?"

"Since-you-asked-so-nicely-dearie. Nice-to-see-there-are-still-some-nice-children-left." The Cyberman replied and as it said that River could have sworn it stared directly at her.

Without another word it leaned over to open the door (pulling it off its hinges in the process) and slowly got out, throwing the door on the ground in front of it as it did so.

"Woh!" Booth cried, holding up his gun automatically.

Brennan took this opportunity to translate, "The phrase he is using indicates a sudden shock, resulting in…." she began to say, only to have Booth glance back at her briefly and yell,

"Yeah, I think they get the point Bones" He paused before adding, "and that sounds more like shrink talk"

"Actually words such as that can be used in a cultural context…" Brennan automatically began to reply but Booth cut her off with a wave of his hand.

He turned back to the cyber man as the Doctor began to pace the spot behind him,  
"Never mind all that, why is this cyberman behaving like a human? It seems to have a human thought process; it's given itself a name, but why?" The Doctor asked aloud.

"Maybe a problem in conversion?" River suggested but the Doctor dismissed that with a shake of his head,

"Then it would have affected the whole batch, they'd be heaps like this"

"Perhaps there are and this one somehow separated from them?" River again put in.

"Can you two shut up?" Booth yelled out to them suddenly.

The Doctor stopped pacing and looked up, a frown on his face as River huffed and turned away.

"Thank you" Booth cried, taking their lack of a response as compliance. "Now, Bette, I'd like you to put your arms in the air, where I can see them"

"For-you-dear, anything" The Cyberman replied, making everyone freeze.

"Did it just…"Brennan began, turning to face the Doctor curiously,

"...Flirt with Booth?' River finished for her, nodding slowly.

"But," Brennan began, swallowing hard, "You call it a cyber man, and you said something about conversion _and_ there's also the fact that it's metal. From the information I have at my disposal and you're facial expressions I gather that the Cybermen don't normally express emotion?"

"That would be right" The Doctor nodded, turning to look at the Cyberman, "So what in the world is this one doing getting, well, getting _comfy_ with Booth?"

"Who wouldn't?" River asked, casting an approving eye in the Detective's direction.

The Doctor gave her an irritated glance, mumbling under breath, "he doesn't even wear bowties" before going on in a loud voice, "Right well, Detective, you can distract the Cyberman while we work out what's going on"

Ignoring Booth's protests as the cyber man began to edge closer to him, The Doctor spun back to brennan and held out a hand, "Come along Temperance" He said, a warm smile on his face, "I think the answer lies in that car"

Brennan accepted his hand with her own and he led her to the door of the beetle, opening the passenger door for her and gesturing for her to enter. "Check the glove compartment but be careful! I'll get a start on the boot, River!" The Doctor called out suddenly as if just remembering the other woman were there,

"What?" she huffed back in reply, though she stood up straighter as he mentioned her name and lifted her head in his general direction.

"Stay out of trouble" He called back before turning to the back of the car without another word.

River stood where she was, silently fuming as she watched Brennan and The Doctor search through the Cyberman's car while said Cyberman continued to advance upon Booth despite the gun he aimed at its chest.

"Stay back, I'm warning you!" The Detective cried while The Doctor stuck his head out from around the back of the car and yelled, "Just lead it a couple more steps back, thanks!" As he reached down and popped the boot of the car.

This was followed immediately with a yelp of surprise,

River looked up instantly, "Doctor, what is it?" She demanded.

"Guys" The Dcotor called back, swallowing as he did so, "I think we've got a problem"

* * *

_I think we should just assume that every chapter of this fic will end on a dramatic note :D _

_hope you liked it!_

_please Review!_


	9. Chapter eight

_so once again there's been a long gap between updates and I am sorry guys,_

_I've just been really busy _

_but as I said before, I am commited to finishing this fic! :)_

_**Note:** I took a different aproach here compared to my other River/11 fics and decided to explore the possibilty of the two of them not seeing their marriageas legitimate._

_anyways, ENJOY!_

* * *

**Chapter eight**

The problem as they soon found out, was that the space in the boot of 'Bette's' car was filled with different television sets of varying colours, sizes and picture qualities, all showing the same scene at different camera angles. Each TV showed three of their group and the cyber man, grouped around the Volkswagen. The fourth person was missing.

"River" The Doctor asked slowly, turning to face her, "where exactly did you buy that suit?"

River shrugged, glancing down at her skin-tight attire, "Well I-I...I don't remember" she trailed off muttering to herself, "Why don't I remember?"

"You don't remember because whoever wants me dead doesn't want you to." The doctor put in sympathetically before going on in his usual rambling tone," This suit is not just a suit, it's a series of cameras, all hidden" he walked towards her, reaching up to lightly flick one of the ears of the furry cat headband she wore, "see, right there, it just looks like part of the pattern, cleverly disguised. "He pointed out the small round dot on the ears for the benefit of Temperance and Booth.

"So, all this time I've been a walking camera?" River asked anxiously.

The Doctor didn't answer, turning away from her. Booth however replied soothingly, "you couldn't have known River"

"Yeah? But you should have!" The Doctor muttered suddenly in an angry tone, striding back to the boot of the car.

"Doctor!" Temperance cried in alarm, walking over to the Timelord, "In my professional opinion she couldn't have possibly known that..." she began to say only to have the Doctor shout loudly over the top of her,

"She put everyone's lives in danger Temperance, everyone's...even yours" he added quietly.

Brennan's eyes flashed as she replied furiously, "well that's what you're doing as well isn't it? I've seen how you act Doctor, you deliberately take risks," and with that she stormed off towards Booth and River.

"Thank you" River replied softly, so out of character that it made Booth stare in alarm.

"Don't thank me" Brennan replied, genuinely confused, "All I did was state the facts based on logic, based on your lack of memory I can conclude that you were most probably given some sort of drug to induce amnesia. "

"Or it's the Silence" River concluded, nodding,

"It can't be!" The Doctor replied coldly, sauntering back to join the group.

"Ok, I'm not following, is this squint-speak for something?" Booth muttered, looking to Brennan for help.

She shook her head, "no it seems as if they're talking about a species of alien"

"The Silence is not a species" River interrupted quickly, "It is a religious order or movement," she was about to go on, only to be interrupted by Booth who groaned loudly,

"We're being chased by religious aliens?"

"But you_ are _religious" Temperance cut in, evidently not seeing the issue,

"Yeah but religious _aliens?_

"Enough with the religious Aliens!" The Doctor cried, throwing his arms up.

"Let me explain" and explain he did, at a million miles an hour to the point where River had to interject halfway through and explain in ways that they (particularly Booth) could understand.

They followed the events she explained pretty well, never asking questions until the end,

"But he" Booth paused, gesturing to the Doctor while still holding the cyber man's hand behind it's back, "said that he didn't know if you two were married."

"Well, technically we aren't, I mean, it was in an aborted timeline." River explained quickly.

Brennan nodded, understanding, Booth however was completely lost, "ok, I'm going to just ignore this time-space travel thing you guys do and get back to my job" he paused before adding under breath, "which happens to be arresting a robot who thinks that she's human"

"But-I-am-human-dear" The cyber man replied, making The Doctor roll his eyes.

Booth pointed at him warningly, "Don't even start!" He said before addressing the cyber man again, "ok Bette, explain to me what all these TV screen's are doing in the back of your little Volkswagen, innocent nanna like you? Spying on 3 doctors and a federal agent?"

Bette was silent for a while minute before she replied reluctantly, "This-car-isn't-mine-it's-Mike's"

"Who's Mike?" The Doctor asked,

"I'll ask the questions here dead boy!" Booth retorted before turning and asking the cyber man, "Who's Mike?"While the Doctor protested and appealed to an amused looking River and indifferent Brennan. "I just asked that!"

"Mike-is-my-husband-detective" The Cyber man replied in it's robotic voice.

"Husband?" River and the Doctor cried as one.

"What's wrong with that?" Booth asked casually, glancing up at both of them "You saying Bette here doesn't get lonely?"

"Booth" The Doctor began slowly, "Bette is a robot, a robot that shouldn't have any sense of emotion."

"So it should be impossible for Bette to develop a relationship of any sort?" Brennan asked and River nodded.

"_Bette_ shouldn't even have a name!"

"Ok, this is all a little too much for me!" Booth cried with a frustrated sigh, "Can someone just explain what the hell is going on here?"

"I'm working on it Seeley" The Doctor cried, leaping into action.

"But first things first we have to get these cameras off River, _Bette_ and _Mike _can't be the only people watching us and I'd rather not have any witnesses to what we're going to next"

"Which is?" Brennan asked,

The Doctor rubbed his hands together, a grin on his face as he looked up, "We're going to kidnap a Cyber man, _this _Cyber man to be precise. "

* * *

_hope you liked it :)_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	10. Chapter nine

_Hey guys! _

_another long gap between updates which I apolgise for! _

_anyways, **Thank you all for your reviews, I love getting feedback from you all! **_

_also, sorry for the innuendo XD _

_and look out for a reference to classic who in relation to the Psychic Paper._

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

It took no less then two hours to successfully extract all of the cameras on the River's cat suit, a process which involved The Doctor standing behind the boot of the car, watching the footage of Brennan and Booth as he determined where exactly each camera was. "Right a bit, left a little, now down, down," The Doctor cried, waving his hands around erratically.

"Doctor!" Booth cried, irritated as he turned to face the other man briefly, "Any lower and I'll be touching her chest here!"

"I could do a strip search if you'd like" River purred suggestively, winking at him.

Booth turned a deep red and mumbled, "that won't be necessary" as Brennan looked over curiously, "judging by her suggestive body posture and gaze I can conclude that she likes you Booth" Temperance said as if it were not apparent to her partner.

"Yeah, Thanks Bones" Booth muttered, gesturing with a hand for her to stop talking.

Smirking slightly, Brennan began to walk backwards, towards the cyberman that had been handcuffed to the handles on the passenger seat of the Volkswagen in a most peculiar way.

As Booth had found out, "Bette's" hands were much too large to fit into handcuffs so the detective had been forced to improvise by manacling one of the metal tubes running from its ears to its head instead. This meant that the Cyberman couldn't move or see anywhere other then the space directly in front of it.

"who-is-there-I-can't-see-anything" The Cyberman cried in its robotic voice which almost sounded like pleading to Brennan.

"Don't say anything to it!' The Doctor cried from behind the car. Brennan looked up to see him watching her closely instead of the TV screens as he was supposed to.

"Why not?" Brennan cried back, making the Doctor growl in frustration as she walked towards him. _One day he thought, he was going to meet someone, and when he said "Don't do that, or don't go over there" they would say "yes Doctor" and not question him._

"For all we know Temperance, that thing is playing a very devious, not to mention dangerous game where it lulls us into a false sense of security and then it will attack us, as it's nature suggests it will"

Brennan cocked her head to the side as if assessing him. "Your conclusions are based on careful deliberation, I like that about you" She said simply and the Doctor beamed at her, reaching up as if to fiddle with his bowtie and then remembering it wasn't there. He was wearing a toga now, he reminded himself, togas are cool. "Thank you" he said softly, "that's what I like about you too"

Brennan smiled in thanks before going on, "But Booth says that following Instinct is also important"

The Doctor frowned, nodding and then shaking his head, unable to decide, "Both I think. Seeley and River, they're different to us in my opinion. They're more, well, spur of the moment sort of people. We are like that too, but that's because we've already run through the possibilities before we begin."

"Done!" Booth cried triumphantly from somewhere near the front of the car, interrupting their discussion suddenly. Brennan and the Doctor turned towards him, observing as River spun around once to show that all camera's had been successfully detected.

The Doctor looked back at the TV sets in the back of the boot to make sure and sure enough, he was met by a series of identical grey fuzzy lines across each screen.

"Great work," The Doctor said, clapping his hands together. "Right now, everyone in the car!"

There was a rush as everyone tried to scramble to the driver's seat at once, except for Brennan who clambered into the back and settled in comfortably.

She watched as the other 3 began to argue, "I'm the detective here!' Booth cried, making his case as quickly as he could. "I'm the oldest!" The Doctor cried back, "I should be the one to drive; I have been piloting my vehicle for over 700 years you know"

"And leaving the Handbrake on the whole time" River finished pointly as Booth cried in an incredulous voice "700 years? You'd need like a senior-senior-senior citizen card then wouldn't you?"

River sniggered as the Doctor whined, pushing herself in between the two men to stake her own claim at driving, "I've driven everything from a Cadillac to a jeep, I know cars" She said in a quiet tone. There was silence after that, both men looking at her blankly before they started back up again,

"I can drive this contraption perfectly well thank you," The Doctor shouted over the top of Booth's voice, "Oh no, you have the look of a maniac driver, I can tell!"

"I can drive" Brennan called out form her space in the car, tired of their bickering and anxious to get going.

The others ignored her, continuing to argue,

"It's because I'm a woman isn't it? Ugh, you men are all the same" River replied, rolling her eyes.

"That is so sexist, you know that!" Booth cried back angrily,

"I'm a Time lord you know, once one of the greatest races in the galaxy here" The Doctor piped up and Booth rounded on him instead. "So now he's going to pull rank on us? Well I'm the only one with a valid driver's license!"

"I have the psychic paper, that'll work as a licence." The Doctor replied as River added, "Yeah, Like he says, He's got psychic paper...that I can use!"

"I can drive!" Brennan cried once again, more loudly this time.

Still they ignored her,

"I am not letting you use my psychic paper!" The Doctor shot back to River, "Next time_ you_ visit the Time agency you can acquire some of your own"

"I drove us here remember!" Booth yelled angrily and the other two laughed at him, "Yeah" River scoffed, "and we ended up tumbling off the road!"

"Because a laser beam hit us!" Booth roared back.

Suddenly a loud honk drowned out their arguing and they all turned as one to see what was happening. Brennan was in the front seat of the car now, her hand impatiently pressing the car horn.

"Move it or lose it!" She cried in a mock angry tone before she smiled at Booth, "is that how it's said?" she asked, "I don't usually use colloquial language"

Booth opened his mouth and shut it like a goldfish, "y-yeah, yeah that's it"

"Using my 'instinct' Doctor" she grinned at the Timelord who gawped at her like Booth was doing, "well get in then!"

River was the first to admit defeat, striding over to the back door and clambering in, "well," she reasoned out loud, "at least it's not one of them driving"

The other two followed soon after, silently getting into the car and grumbling under their breaths.

"Didn't you say something about kidnapping the Cyberman?" River asked the Doctor smugly.

Wordlessly he nodded and she grinned, "Well I don't think our 'victim' should know where we're taking her." And with that she fumbled around the floor of the car, picking something off the ground and brandishing it in front of her. It was a large brown paper bag. Without hesitating she leaned over the front passenger seat and stuck it over the Cyberman's face, breaking the bag as it collided with the handcuffs, but nether-the-less serving its purpose.

"This-is-no-way-to-treat-an-old-lady!" The Cyberman cried in defence and River rolled her eyes.

"Come on Brennan!" she cried enthusiastically, much to the two men's annoyance.

Her cheery nature soon turned to a look of horror as Brennan started the car and put her hands on the wheel. The Car lurched backwards, screeching horribly as it did so.

* * *

_Hope you Liked it :)_

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**


	11. Chapter ten

_So sorry for the long break between chapters guys :( _

_hope you like this chapter. I really enjoy writing this as its different to anything i've ever attempted. _

_anyways this chapter is humour with a touch of tension! _

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

After an age of deliberation and heated arguments, not to mention sheer terror at Brennan's erratic driving, the group had reached the conclusion that the best thing was to drive the cyber man to its residence and work out what was going on.

It didn't really come as a surprise to the Doctor that _Bette's _house turned out to be nothing more then an abandoned warehouse, rusty metal sheets and rotten wooden planks littering the floor.

The Doctor entered first, leading the way with Brennan eagerly running after him, Booth followed not far behind, accompanying the cyber man with River bringing up the rear, gun raised and on alert.

What the Doctor didn't expect (though he wouldn't admit it out loud) was exactly what kind of creature her_ husband_ was.

The _house _comprised of a few of the left over conveyer belts which Bette informed them was her and Mike's bed, two long ragged bits of material serving as curtains over the broken window. "have-a-seat" Bette said, gesturing to her lounge which turned out to be nothing but an old black and white TV set accompanied by three overturned milk crates or _seats_.

Booth glanced at the room and then up at the other three, a frown on his face, "she's really lost it" "oh, let's just humour her" The doctor returned, though he too didn't not look altogether pleased as he took a seat on one of the milk crates. Brennan sat down next to him but Booth and River remained standing, one keeping a close eye on all possible exits, the other with his hand resting on his fire arm.

"have-some-cookies-dears" Bette said as she reached for a small sheet of metal she no doubt perceived to be a baking tray. Upon the sheet lay a few bolts and twisted pieces of wire.

"Ok this is seriously getting weird. " Booth remarked as the Doctor shouted a loud, "no thank you" in a cheerful way that made River look up suspiciously, "five minutes ago you were all for disabling the cyber man and leaving it on the side of the road. What are you up to Doctor?"

"spoilers" The Doctor replied with a barely concealed smirk.

"spoilers?" Brennan asked curiously, glancing between them.

"you'll see Temperance" The Doctor said quietly, turning back to the cyberman.

"So Bette, whereabouts is your husband?" the question was barley out of his mouth when he heard a voice behind him that made his blood run cold.

"Hi-honey-i'm-home. Oh-i-see-you-brought-friends."

If they weren't his greatest enemy the doctor might have been amused at the fact that a Dalek had just called a cyber man honey. As it stood he was far from amused. He was a whole two galaxies and an orbiting space station away from amused.

"Doctor that's, that's a Dalek!" he heard River cry from somewhere behind him just as Booth asked, "what is that?" and Brennan made a passing remark about the advanced technology that would have went into creating it.

"Every time" he growled in a dangerous tone as he slowly stood and turned to face his nemesis. The Dalek swivelled it's eyestalk to face him, not saying a word. "Every time when I lose everything I hold dear to me you somehow survive, you always manage to come back!" He cried with savage fury as he advanced on the Dalek.

"I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about-mate" the Dalek replied in its expressionless voice, rolling backwards with each step the Doctor took towards it.

The Doctor sneered, "oh, very clever"

"woh there Dead boy," Booth said, hastily as he reached for the Doctor's arm. The Doctor responded by pushing him away in a not too friendly way.

"you have no idea what's going on here so how about you leave this to the expert" The Doctor growled.

"You may be an expert" Booth replied coldly, "but that doesn't mean you know everything. Now I'm telling you nicely, sit down" he finished through gritted teeth.

"Booth, you don't understand, "River said with a weary sigh as Brennan looked between them curiously before turning to eye the dalek, "that thing may look innocent but it's anything but. "

"I-am-nothing-but-a-plumber" The Dalek protested, plunger arm waving around to demonstrate.

The Doctor laughed sarcastically as Booth smirked, "I'll do the talking Mario, thanks."

Three pairs of eyes fixed him with a confused stare and he sighed, "squints"

"is-this-any-way-to-treat-your-hosts?" Bette cried from her corner as she set down the metal sheet on an upturned milk crate.

Everyone ignored her.

"Doctor" Brennan began quietly, "these Robots obviously think that they're humans, we should be trying to determine why that is"

"And that" the Doctor sneered, "is what I'm trying to do" And with that he spun back to the Dalek, "something made you forget what you are, fine, I'll help you remember"

And without warning he swiped River's gun out of her hands and pointed it directly at the Dalek's eyestalk.

"Doctor!" The voices cried at the same time.

It was the first time anyone had ever seen a Dalek quiver.

* * *

_*cue music from Psycho* XD _

_please review guys!_


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